JOKES
NURSERY RHYMES UPDATED FOR
21ST CENTURY
Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall
The structure of the wall was incorrect
so he won ten grand with Claims Direct.
Its raining its pouring
Of course, its global warming
Jack and Jill went into town
to buy some chips and sweeties
Now he can't keep his heart rate down
and she has got diabetes.
Georgie Porgie pudding and pie
kissed the girls and made them cry
When the boys came out to play
he kissed them too for he was gay.
Mary had a little lamb
it ran into a pylon
10,000 volts went into him
and changed his wool to nylon.
next post 11th March
MY FAVORITE PSALMS -
PART FIFTY ONE
The Lord hath made known His ways unto Moses; His acts unto the children of Israel.
The Lord is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and plenteous in mercy.
He will not always chide, nor will He keep His anger forever. He hath not dealt with us after our sins, nor rewarded us according to our iniquities.
For as the heaven is high above the earth, so great is His mercy toward those who fear Him. As far as the east is from the west, so far hath He removed our transgressions from us.
Like as a father pitieth his children, so the Lord pitieth those who fear Him. For He knoweth our frame and remembereth that we are dust.
As for man his days are as grass; As the flower of the field, so he flourisheth . For the wind passes over it and it is gone. And the place thereof shall know it no more.
But the loving kindness of Jehovah is from everlasting to everlasting upon them that fear Him, and His righteousness unto children's children; To such as keep His covenant, and to those that remember his precepts to do them. Jehovah hath established His throne in the heavens; And His kingdom ruleth over all.
Bless Jehovah, ye His angels, that are mighty in strength, that fulfil His Word, hearkening unto the voice of His Word. Bless Jehovah, all His hosts, ye ministers of His, that do His pleasure. Bless Jehovah, all ye His works; In all places of His dominion. Bless Jehovah, O, my soul.
next post 10th March
IS JESUS GOD?
part four
(copied from
Y-Jesus.com)
DID JESUS CLAIM
TO BE GOD?
So what is it that convinces many scholars that Jesus claimed to be God? Author John Piper explains that Jesus claimed power which uniquely belonged to God.
".....Jesus' friends and enemies were staggered again and again by what He said and did. He would be walking down the road seemingly like any other man, then turn and say something like, 'Before Abraham was, I am.' Or, 'If you have seen Me, you have seen the Father,. Or, very calmly, after being accused of blasphemy, He would say 'the Son of man has authority on earth to forgive sins.'
To the dead He might simply say 'Come forth' or 'Rise up' and they would obey. To the storms on the sea , He would say, 'Be still' and to a loaf of bread He would say, 'Become a thousand meals,' and it was done immediately.
But what did Jesus mean by such statements? Is it possible that Jesus is merely a prophet like Moses, Elijah or Daniel? Even a superficial reading
of the gospel reveals that Jesus claimed to be Someone more than a prophet. No other prophet had made such claims about himself, in fact no other prophet ever put himself in God's place.
Some argue that Jesus never explicitly said, "I am God." It is true that He never stated the exact words, "I am God." However, Jesus never explicitly said "I am a man," or "I am a prophet." Yet Jesus was undoubtedly human, and His followers considered Him a prophet, like Moses and Elijah, so we cannot rule out Jesus being divine just because he didn't say those exact words, anymore than we can say He wasn't a prophet.
In fact Jesus' statements about Himself contradict the notion that He was simply a great man, or a prophet. On more than one occasion Jesus referred to Himself as "God's Son"
Before we examine Jesus' claims, it is important to understand that He made them in the context of the Jewish belief in one God (monotheism). No faithful Jew would ever believe in more than one God. And Jesus believed in the one God, praying to his father as "The only true God."
But in that same prayer, Jesus spoke of always having existed with His Father. And when Phillip asked Jesus to show them the Father, Jesus said, "Have I been with you so long and you do not know Me? Whoever has seen Me has seen the Father."
So, the question is, was Jesus claiming to be the Hebrew God Who created the Universe?
next post 8th March
TWENTY SIXTEEN -
PART FORTY
SEVEN
Hello folks,
Ruth is back safely. No problem with car. Store says charger was struck by lightning "sorry not our fault."
At around twelve Ruth decides to make potato chips. The sky is overcast and a storm is threatening so she wants to do it now in case the power goes off again.
She needs to steam the chips in the microwave, then if the power does go off she can use the gas plate to deep fry the chips.
I am in my room when the power goes off. I go to the kitchen as she transfers the pot of hot oil from the stove to the hot plate. I stay with her while she finishes and she turns off the gas and puts the pot of oil back on the stove. She doesn't realize the stove is still switched on . But the power is off.
We take our bowls of chips to the front porch where we spend the next hour and a half eating and then just chatting. Suddenly from where I am sitting I see clouds of smoke billowing out from the side of the house and realize something is on fire. I tell Ruth at the same time as she smells the smoke - she can't see it from where she is sitting, she jumps up and runs towards the smoke. I watch but I am thinking the smoke is coming from the direction of Amanda's house, maybe they are burning garden refuse or something. But Ruth comes running back, panic stricken - the smoke is billowing out of our open back door. The smoke is coming from our kitchen. She disappears into the house.
I grab my walker and follow. The lounge and dining room are already filling up with smoke and it is difficult to breathe. When I reach the kitchen I can't see anything the smoke is so thick it is surreal and eerie - I can feel the danger, it is alive and very threatening. Ruth is in this smoke filled kitchen but I can't see her.
When I speak she shouts, "Mom, get out of this house, get out, get out!" Fearing that something is about to explode I head for the porch expecting an explosion at any minute, thinking this is the way it is going to end, we are both going to die in the smoke filled house I can barely breathe.
I reach the porch, my throat is burning from the smoke and I have difficulty breathing - my lungs are no longer what they used to be. I wait for Ruth - I expected her to follow me but it quite a while before she emerges.
She had to feel her way around the kitchen for a cloth to move the pot and switch the stove off at the wall (she could't see her hand when she lifted it in front of her face) - the power had come on again while we were outside and she had inadvertently not switched the stove off. The oil then began to boil and boil - we have no idea how long it boiled but by the time the smoke had cleared there was just a very thin layer of pitch black oil left on the bottom of the pot and the stove and the pot were covered with pitch black oil. Fortunately she had put the lid back on the pot which kept the oil confined, otherwise the house would have been a raging inferno, and it would have burned to the ground.
photos of pot - the pot was originally three quarters full of oil - now it is empty.
She also had to open some windows. She also managed to soak a dish towel in water to cover her mouth and nose while making periodic trips to open more windows and switch on the fan. Fortunately there was no flame.
There are some windows she couldn't open because Harry can get out into the unfenced section. We also couldn't open the dining room windows because they open onto the porch where we were sitting while we wait for it to clear. It was still pretty uncomfortable though as the smoke smell was very strong I had to keep my mouth and nose covered with the soaked dish towel.
Ruth had inhaled so much of the toxic smoke she had to use the nebulizer twice in the afternoon and will use it again tonight to clear her lungs.
Do you see God's mighty hand in this ? - what a miracle - He brought us safely through - we only suffered a bit of smoke inhalation. This happened a month and a day after our ginger beer explosion. The enemy of our souls is trying to destroy us but Our God reigns, He is in control. He goes before us and prepares the way for us to follow.
next post 5th March
JOKES
Two cowboys are riding along on the prairie
1st cowboy: "what's these them things, flying around my face?"
2nd cowboy: "thems hossflies, you always find them flying around the backside of a hoss."
1st cowboy "Are you insinuating that my face looks like the backside of a hoss?"
2nd cowboy "That I aint, pardner, but you can't fool them hossflies."
next post 4th March
MY FAVORITE PSALMS
- PART FIFTY
When the Lord shall build up Zion, He shall appear in His glory.
He will regard the prayer of the destitute and not despise their prayer. This shall be written for the generations to come: And the people which shall be created shall praise the Lord, for He hath looked down from the heights of His sanctuary; from heaven did the Lord behold the earth.
To hear the groaning of the prisoner; to loose those who are appointed to death.
To declare the Name of the Lord in Zion and His praise in Jerusalem. When the people are gathered together and the kingdoms serve the Lord.
Of old Thou hast laid the foundation of the earth and the heavens are the work of Thy hands. They shall perish , but Thou shalt endure; yea, all of them shall wax old like a garment as a vesture shalt Thou change them and they shall be changed.
But Thou art the same and Thy years shall have no end. The children of Thy servants shall continue and their seed shall be established before Thee
Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless His Holy Name. Bless the Lord , O my soul and forget not all His benefits.
Who forgiveth all thine iniquities. Who healeth thy diseases. Who redeemeth thy life from destruction., Who crowneth thee with lovingkindness and tender mercies.
Who satisfieth thy mouth with good things and thy youth is renewed like the eagles. The Lord executeth righteousness and judgement for all that are oppressed.
next post 3rd March
IS JESUS GOD?
part three
(copied from
Y-Jesus.com)
Great Religious Leader?
Surprisingly, Jesus never claimed to be a religious leader. He never got into religious politics or pushed an ambitious agenda, and he ministered almost entirely outside the religious framework.
When one compares Jesus with other great religious leaders, a remarkable distinction emerges. Ravi Zacharias has studied world religions and observed a fundamental distinction between Jesus Christ and the founders of other major religions.
All religions provide instruction for a way of living. But it is only Jesus Who offers deliverance, forgiveness for sin, and transformation "Jesus did not only teach or expound His message. He was identical with His message."
The truth of Zacharias' point is underscored by the number of times in the Gospels that Jesus' teaching message was simply "Come to Me" or "Follow Me" or "Obey Me".
Also Jesus made it clear that His primary mission was to forgive sins, something only God could do.
In The World's Greatest Religions, Huston Smith observed that of all religious leaders only Jesus claimed to be divine.
And that leads us to the question of what Jesus really did claim for Himself, specifically did Jesus claim to be God?
next post 29th February
