BLONDE JOKE
A blonde wanting to earn some money, decides to hire herself out as a handyman type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood.
She went to the first house and asked the owner whether he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, what will you charge me to paint my front porch?"
The blonde says : "$50"
The man agrees, and tells her that the paint and ladders are in the garage The man's wife, inside the house, asks him:
"Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
"She should do. She was standing on the porch."
A short while later the blonde came to the front door to collect her money. Very impressed the man reaches into his pocket for the money, and says
"Finished already. That was quick."
"Yes," says the blonde "and I had paint left over so I gave it a second coat. And by the way that's not a Porshe in the garage it's a Ferrari."
MY FAVORITE PSALMS - PART TWENTY FIVE
Truly God is good to Israel, even to such as are of a clean heart.
Nevertheless I am continually withThee, Thou hast holden my right hand. Thou shalt guide me with Thy councel and afterward receive me to glory.
Whom have I in heaven but Thee? And there is none upon earth that I desire beside Thee.
My flesh and my heart faileth, but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion forever.
But is it good for me to draw near to God: I have put my trust in the Lord God, that I might declare all Thy works.
For God is my King of old, working salvation in the midst of the earth. Thou didst divide the sea by Thy strength. Thou breakest the heads of the dragons in the waters.
Thou didst cleave the fountain and the flood: Thou driedst up mighty rivers. The day is Thine and the night also is Thine. Thou hast prepared the light and the sun.
Thou hast set all the borders of the earth: Thou hast made summer and winter.
Unto Thee, O God do we give thanks. I cried out to God with my voice, even unto God with my voice, and He gave ear unto me. In the day of my trouble I sought the Lord.
I will remember the works of the Lord: surely I will remember Thy wonders of old. I will meditate also of all Thy work and talk of Thy doings.
Thy way, O Lord, is in the sanctuary. Who is so great a God as our God?
Thou art the God that doest wonders. Thou hast declared Thy strength among the people.
Thou hast with Thy right arm redeemed Thy people, Jacob and Joseph. Selah
The waters saw Thee, O God, the waters saw Thee and were afraid. The depths also were troubled.
The clouds poured out water. The skies sent out a sound. Thy arrows also went abroad. The voice of thunder was in the heaven. The lightnings lightened the world; the earth trembled and shook.
Thy way is in the sea, and Thy path in the great waters and Thy footsteps are not known.
Thou leddest Thy people like a flock by the hand of Moses and Aaron.
Give ear, O my people to My law. Incline your ears to the words of My mouth.
next post 15th September
WAITING ON THE LORD
Sometimes God does not answer our prayers immediately - He wants us to learn to wait on Him. On His timing and on His
perfection.
He also does not always answer us in the way we want to be answered, but you can be sure it will always be the right answer for your particular situation, even though you may not think so at the time.
He is God. The Creator of all things. Our wishes and plans can never and will never be better than His plans.
I think that this is one of the greatest lessons we as Christians need to learn. The art of true surrender to our Lord and Saviour.
"For I know the plans that I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future."
Are you, at this moment in time in a situation where you need a miracle. I am. Let us go through this journey and learn together. If you do not need it now save it for when you do.
Here are some verses from the Bible. It helps to memorize them so that they are already in you mind when you need them. If you find this difficult write them down and keep them close at hand to read in time of need.
TRUST HIM
"Thou dost keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on Thee, because he trusts in Thee."
"Trust Him at all times ye people, pour out your heart before Him. God is a refuge for us."
Psalm 62:8
"My soul, wait thou only upon God, for my expectation is from Him."
Psalm 62:5
"They that wait upon the Lord will renew their strength, they shall mount up on wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."
Isaiah 40:31
PRAY FOR HIS GUIDANCE
"Lead me and guide me, for You are the God of my salvation. On Thee do I wait all the day."
Psalm 25:5
BE HAPPY. Don't walk around with a long face.
"Rejoice in the Lord always and again I say rejoice."
Phillipians 4:4
SURRENDERING OUR WILL TO GOD'S WILL
Always remember that surrendering to God's will is not something you do for selfish reasons, so that you can be rewarded. You surrender so that you are empty of self and full of the Holy Spirit so that our Awesome God can use you in His service.
"Though He slay me, yet will I trust in Him."
Job 2:9
This statement was made by Job when he was going through a terrible time of pain and suffering. He had lost all his children, not one, but all of them. He had lost his health and his wealth and had no support from family or friends.
Yet in all of this Job knew that God was allowing these things to happen to him. He knew that God as the Creator of heaven and earth has the power and the right to do this. God is the potter, we are the clay.
He did not understand God's plan, but what he did know is that God is trustworthy, loving, kind, and merciful.
The apostle Paul echos Job's statement of faith
"I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but that I will have sufficient courage so that now and always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death."
Phillipians 1:20
Through their experience we can see that we can trust God. He has a perfect plan for each one of us and even though we do not understand it, we have His promise that He will never leave us nor forsake us.
"I will never leave you nor forsake you."
Hebrews 13:5
This plan of Mine is not what you would work out
"for My ways are not your ways neither are My thoughts your thoughts for just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways and My thoughts than yours."
Isaiah 55:8-9
God does not show us the end from the beginning.
There are many curves and twists in the road ahead and we cannot see beyond them, but if we wait upon the Lord and trust Him He will reveal to us what the next step is that we need to take. This will be through His written word, through sermons (church and television programs) and also through prayer and our Christian brothers and sisters.
Do not fear. God is always a step ahead of us leading us and guiding us. All we have to do is follow Him.
next post 14th September
CURRIED MUTTON/
CHUCK OR
STEWING BEEF
Ingredients:
500gr any of the above
1 large onion (peeled +chopped)
2 skinned tomatoes
1 desertspoon chopped garlic
1 large potato
1 tablespoon apricot jam
2 teaspoons ground ginger
2 tablesoons curry powder
salt
METHOD:
Cook meat overnight on slow heat in slow cooker.
Next day, about 2 hours before serving, cut up + steam potato for 15 minutes + set aside.
Fry onion till transparent then add chopped tomatoes, curry powder, ground ginger salt and apricot jam. Stir well and add meat and steamed potatoes.
Continue cooking in slow cooker till needed. Serve with rice or mashed potatoes.
enjoy.
next post 12th September
TWENTY SIXTEEN PART TWENTY FIVE
Hello folks,
we are now at June 20th. It was my intention to start typing from home by now.
The end of August is looming and we need to pay the rent of R7000 per month.
I have now got my speed up to over 50 wpm. On good days it is 58 wpm. Now need to find a job. My eyes are also giving me a lot of trouble, thereby causing discomfort.
Approached Ruth for help in on how to get started as she is the one with the Tissa file and she has already gone through it all so she should know what I must do. Another blockage, she hands me the Tissa file and tells me to study it. I don't have time for this. I am exasperated. I need to make some money and fast. She doesn't even offer to help me.
Now looking through the file I find that I need earphones, a foot pedal and software. We don't have the money for this. Tissa does provide some of the software for free but now I am expected to find out where it is in this thick file and how to download it.
I have been doing my very best to help, but can no longer see my way clear to do it. It feels like all the effort is killing me.
Decided not to try anymore. Just sit back and wait on the Lord. He has been showing us all along that we are to wait on Him. And after all He has never ever let me down in the past.
More than likely I am trying to cope with something that is not His will. Everything I have done has been blocked in some way or another. Even my eyes have now become a problem.
This afternoon my room was full of bees. There were at least twenty of them and the windows have screens on them, it is amazing how they can get in. Ruth reported it to Amanda and Chris and it was discovered that they were migrating from the property next door. They sorted the problem out for us by blocking all the places where the bees could get in.
Supplies are running very low. Putting my trust in my heavenly Father.
"They that wait upon the Lord, will renew their strength, they shall mount up on wings as eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."
Isaiah 40:31
next post 11th September
BLONDE JOKE
Eleven people are hanging onto a rope that is attached to an aeroplane. Ten of them are blonde, and one is a brunette. They all decide that one of them must let go because the rope is likely to break under the the weight of eleven people and all of them will die.
But they can't decide which one must go so finally the brunette says,
"I'll get off."
The blondes are all so happy by this statement, they all start clapping.. Problem solved.
Next post 10th September.
MY FAVORITE PSALMS
PART TWENTY FOUR
Give the king Thy judgments, O God, and Thy righteousness unto the king's son. He shall judge Thy people with righteousness and Thy poor with judgement.
The mountains shall bring peace to the people and the little hills by righteousness. He shall judge the poor of the people and He shall save the children of the needy and shall break in pieces the oppressor.
They shall fear Thee as long as the sun and the moon endure. Throughout all generations.
He shall come down like rain upon the mown grass; as showers that water the earth. In His days shall the righteous flourish; and abundance of peace so long as the moon endureth. He shall have dominion also, from sea to sea, and from river to river to the ends of the earth.
They that dwell in the wilderness shall bow before Him: and His enemies shall lick the dust.
The Kings of Tarshish and of the isles shall bring presents; the kings of Sheba and Seba shall offer gifts.
Yea, all kings shall bow down before Him, all nations shall serve Him. For He shall deliver the needy when he crieth; the poor also and him who has no helper.
He shall spare the poor and the needy, and shall save the souls of the needy. He shall redeem their soul from deceit and violence; and precious shall their blood be in His sight.
And He shall live and unto Him shall be given the gold of Sheba; prayer also shall be made for Him continually; and daily shall He be praised.
There shall be a handful of corn in the earth upon the top of the mountains; and the fruit thereof shall shake like Lebanon; and they of
the city shall flourish like the grass of the earth.
His Name shall endure forever. His Name shall be continued as long as the sun; and men shall be blessed in Him ; all nations shall call Him blessed.
Blessed be the Lord God, the God of Israel,
Who only doeth wondrous things; and blessed be His glorious Name forever, and let the whole earth be filled with His glory.
Amen and amen.
next post 9th September
