TWENTY SEVENTEEN - PART 22

                                                            TWENTY                                                                                   SEVENTEEN 

                                                             PART 22



When Ruth came back from town, family  members  had to be notified, which included Danny's  two brothers, and his children from his previous two marriages. 

When Ruth phoned her brothers she found that Steve was in the Cape on holiday until Friday 16th (Danny's 58th birthday, which he will no longer celebrate) but Andy was on his way from Gauteng. He would overnight with us and go with Ruth in the morning to do all the necessary things which needed to be done in a such tragic circumstances.

Danny's children and ex wife came from Johannesburg to offer condolences - it was a very cramped situation as we only have 2 kitchen chairs , my walker's seat and my typing chair. 

 Andy sat in the typing chair with his feet raised on a small footstool as he is semi crippled due to a car crash  many years ago.  I lay on my bed, and Ruth mostly stood against the wall as did the rest of the family.We only have two bedrooms, a small kitchen and a minute bathroom so we were rather cramped for space.

The visitors stayed for about two hours and when they left the three of us ate soup and bread. It was Ruth and my  first meal of the day. After the awful news earlier there was no way we could eat anything and even now it was a battle to get the food into our stomachs.

Ruth then took my sleeping needs to her room and we shared her bed while Andy slept in my bed. We were all exhausted from the shock and all that went with it that we retired early. 

Ruth offered me a sleeping pill which I declined as they only make me feel worse the next day. And before all of this happened I already hadn't been  feeling well for days, and I didn't want to make it worse.

Although I was in a
 warm, comfortable
bed I could not sleep. 
I can't begin to describe
 the pain and agony
 raging in me of losing 
"my child". 

 No matter what age your children are they are always a mother's  "child."   Only those who have been through it can truly understand. 

The pain is inexpressible - if I didn't have Jesus in my life I don't know whether I would have survived this loss.

"I would have despaired unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living."  Psalm 27:13

I console myself with the fact that God does not make mistakes and it was Danny's time to go. His suffering on this earthly journey has ended and he is in a better place.

I finally dosed off in the early hours but was awake again around 5am.

next post  3rd September.